I woke up this morning not knowing where I was. Someone from this traveling circus knocked over the lamp in the corner and someone made really bizarre sculptures out of wire coat hangers in the closet. One of the creations looks like a monkey. Strange. I woke up lying on the floor next to the air conditioner by the window. I still have no idea where my sunglasses went. Someone knocked on the door a bunch of times this morning. Finally I rolled over and yelled, "I killed them all, go away." That stopped them.
My three o'clock interview with some stupid magazine went about as well as a root canal. Two questions in the idiot asks me if my Jackson Rake "persona" interferes with who I "really am." I asked him if being a jackass helps him succeed in life. He liked that. I spent the next 20 minutes making up lies to answer the rest of the questions. These people are prostitutes of the pen. They need to listen for a while and stop talking so damn much. I also told him that he looked like Gene Simmons without his makeup on. He didn't seem to like that so much. Piss on these people. I pay their paychecks. I told him to go get me another drink from the hotel bar. It took him 17 minutes to get back with it. I said if it was going to take that long he might have at least brought me a few drinks. He reminded me that he didn't work for me. I told him to piss off and told him to leave. He did. I'm sure I'll get good press from that rag.
Took me 10 minutes to convince the ass at the front desk to have a new TV brought up to my room. They were taking the old broken one (with full-on shattered screen) out of the room and I said, "No leave that here too!" They looked at me weird and set it back down. I want to plug that sucker in and do high-voltage experiments with it tonight. See what I can do with it.
Whatever. Enough of this nonsense. I'm going to figure out where the pool and sauna in this place are.