They came to our house one day in these black outfits and helmets. They knocked down our door and stormed our kitchen. They came in screaming and let the dogs loose on us. They tied all of us up and made us sit on the couch. They gagged all of us except for Uncle Sal, who they demanded information from. They said they had come to remove all of the vegetable oil from the house because it wasn't permitted. They were very angry with us.
Eventually, they found the hidden compartment we had made behind the bookcase. They found everything we had... all of it. They took every last ounce of the vegetable oil and burned it outside in the street. They set up a makeshift base in our house. They dragged us out in the street and tied us to a pole. A man with a bullhorn stood on the back of a truck next to us and addressed the crowd that had gathered. They told us they were going to make examples of us in front of our neighbors.
After they called us "infidels" and "vegetable oil swilling swine," they burned the house down. Their explanation was that there might have been some more oil that they hadn't found. They left some of their men behind to make sure we didn't run back into the burning house to retrieve some oil that they had missed. They didn't want to take any chances on us getting our hands on more. They punched me in the gut and threw me on the sidewalk. They dropped a keg of lard in the street in front of the inferno that once was our house. They suggested we start using the lard, like good citizens. Just to make a point, they broke Uncle Sal's kneecaps.
Okay now, this is starting to get silly. Turn your computer off and go read a book.