He told me that I could successfully

achieve stardom

. He told me that I could

beat the Prime Minister of France

with little more than a spatula and a pair of goggles. He told me I could

take the mayor’s teeth

, and set them on fire. He told me that I could win a million books in a game of spin the bottle; that I could donate my pants to the Federal Bureau of the Iron Nose. He said that my hat was the key to the future, and that my future was the key to a small safe in Kenya. He said that I was not the first igloo to wander amongst him and his companions. He said that only three minutes ago, two champions battled for the seventeenth amendment. He told me that oatmeal is the breakfast of champions. He told me that Wheaties is the breakfast of fools. With that I left, and was entrusted with the royal crown. I never did find out who killed Zorro, or why they did it with a stapler.

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could you smell my (w)hole.... life?